Finance Minister Pravin Gordhan gave his 2017 Budget Speech a few days ago. Every year people eagerly watch his breakdown as if they’re at an awards ceremony where nobody knows what’s written on the piece of paper.

Everybody knows what’s written on the piece of paper.

It’s a bunch of self-congratulatory reasons why the government is going to take away more of your income.

One of the said reasons is obesity. And I’m not referring to the size of the government. I’m referring to the size of citizens who, apparently, should be penalised for buying things containing sugar. Why? I don’t know. Well, actually, I do know, since it has nothing to do with health and everything to do with creative ways to siphon more money out of the people.